Someone asked me how it all started with Master and me, so here goes...
Tony and I met at a local bar 21 years ago and we fell for each other across a crowded room. Really, we did! Our eyes met and it was love at first sight for both of us. We were both dating people at the time and both thought OH Shit now I have to break up with the other guy.
Tony was still in college and had to go back to finish his last year of school. I was in the middle of a break up of a 5 year relationship and trying to do the long distance thing. We started dating and that lasted for about 6 months when I decided I could not just jump into another serious relationship so I broke up with him. I had the summer to be single! The summer was fun and when it was over I was more ready to settle down. A friend of mine said Tony was directing a play and I should audition for a part which I did. And guess what? He cast me and killed me off in the 1st act which was fine - I knew he was still interested.
During the play we started dating and getting serious. I bought a house and we moved in together. Everything was great, very loving, having a great time remodeling the house and just enjoying life. Tony loves to flirt, go to the gym and get attention from guys when we are out. This would make me so jealous and sometimes mad and I would accuse him of cheating, but he always denied it.
About 5 years into the relationship I found e mails that proved he was cheating on me! He said it was only this 1 guy, but over a few weeks the truth came out that he had cheated many many times either at the gym, or with random guys. We decided to go to counseling and went for a year and he promised not to do it again. I really busted his balls over that year.
While all this was going down I was secretly jerking off to him cheating on me. I was very confused as to why it was turning me on and why I was mad at him for cheating. It all came down to the fact that he cheated on me by not telling me. He was lying to me and that's the part that hurt so much that he did not trust me to talk to me about his needs.
One night about a year after cheating I told him "Ya know it would be hot if you cuckolded me." I had to tell him what that was and he said NO WAY! He felt like I was testing him to see if he did it again and if he did I would leave him. He was very confused so I sent him links on cuckolding and links on Master slave issues. He read them and we talked a lot At this point I was begging him to cuckold me and he still did not trust that it was not a test, to the point where he agreed to do it once and had me sign a contract that said I would not break up with him.
He finally had a jo session with a guy at the gym and I was turned on a lot. But I still had a bit of jealousy and gave him a hard time about it, but it was so fucking hot I was confused again. So we talked and talked and talked some more. He started very slowly playing with others. Sometimes I would love it and other times I would be angry, but through it all we talked and let each other know we loved each other. It was a hard but fun time in our relationship.
As all this was going on I was slowly planting the seed that I would really like to be his slave and it seemed to be the next step in our evolution . He was not into the Master/slave thing and did not understand it at all so we read books and talked about how it would be. I think he was afraid we would lose the love we have for each other. I assured him it would not and the we could be even closer in that type of relationship. We added more of that element over a long time and continue to do so.
It is very hard to live as Master/slave cuckold all the time but we have integrated it into our lives so we see it in everyday life. I do all the cleaning, cooking, errands and anything he might give me to do and this frees up his time so he can cuckold me as often as he likes. I love the way things are now as does he. We are still in love and open to explore ourselves in an open and HONEST way that allows both of to be our true selves.
I don't know if you'll look at this blog ever again.
ReplyDeleteMy bf and I are in long distance, and there's no end to the distance in the near future. We've both mentioned it would be hot to watch the other fool around with another guy. My bf mentioned he'd think it would be hot to be in the same room just jerking, but I also have fancied the idea of watching my bf fool around. However both of us are also unsure, as the jealousy might get the better of us. I've heard some guys claim that it's a form of BDSM, where the "abuse" is emotional instead of physical, and is often more role play than daily life.
Aré there any tips on 1) making sure you do feel loved by your bf, even though you're being cucked? You say you "talked it through" What words were said? 2) have you come up with a system to say "this is too much, please stop?" Some sort of safeword to drop the role play?
If you ever look at this blog, I would appreciate a response. I found your blog through googling "true gay cuck" and it seems a lot more useful than the tumblrs on the same subject. However, I do recognize you hadn't updated since 2013.